present - 7/9: dreaming, stressing, organizing, budgeting, travelling, planning, packing, working, and the occasional acid trip
7/10 xanax 14 hours
7/11 Barcelona, Spain 10:00 PM
7/12 Marseille (Provence), France 8:30 AM - 6:00 PM
7/13 Florence/Pisa (Livorno), Italy 7:00 AM - 7:00 PM
7/14 Rome (Civitavecchia), Italy 7:00 AM - 7:00 PM
7/15 Naples/Capri, Italy 7:00 AM - 7:00 PM
7/16 At Sea
7/17 Mykonos, Greece 7:00 AM - 2:00 PM
7/18 Istanbul, Turkey 8:00 AM - 6:00 PM
7/19 Kusadasi (Ephesus), Turkey 12:00 PM - 7:00 PM
7/20 Athens (Piraeus), Greece 6:00 AM - 5:45 PM
7/21 At Sea
7/22 Venice, Italy 1:00 PM
7/23 Venice, Italy 5:00 AM 
7/24 - 7/31: farewells and final arrangements
8/01 - 90026!

                                                                                                                 I have gone from working 48 hours sitting behind a 10-key feeling sorry for myself to working 32- hours talking summer ensembles with golddigger wives. My job is a lifesaver, adequately compensating & tranferable to Rodeo. Lost my tan in the hospital. Wristcutters was a really cool movie. Still seeing people I'd rather not remember existed, still can't seem to feel complete without Derekgene around.. things that shall be resolved at last come August 1st. Just get me out of here! Meanwhile, Easysleeves & my darling Shaners keeping things bearable. 

I  a m  h a p p y  a b o u t 
                      finally updating my iPod getting the new pj harvey on there, birthday party, nick cave b sides & rarities.. I put love and rockets on there, I want to see them at coachella because I'm goth.. don't have much else to choose from.. really hoping there's something up goldenvoices's sleeve or I am going to be one dumbstruck coachella-er..

h a p p y  a b o u t
      my favorite person traveling over this weekend against his will because las vegas nevada is a soul swallower but soon I will leave this downward spiral black hole of a city and then no more shall we part...

f u n n y 
            reading my old ljs me and sandra were such fucking funny little girls, me and paulina were really really funny, I wish I had a better memory because I don't remember anything until I go back and read ljs or look at pictures and that also inspires not so pleasant memories so its a give take situation I supposeeeeeeeee

v e r y  h a p p y  a b o u t
                   tanning getting tan again going to hawaii, getting such a high note streak on guitar hero that shane gave up and tobey didnt even want to challenge me & still getting my victory bowl, fucking off at work because I'm quitting in 3 more weeks! 

h a p p y  s h o e s
    new shoes from my personal shopper nothing makes me happier than new surprise shoe finds.

h a p p y  t o  c o m e
                        <33<3<3<33rhett miller feb. 9th

w h a t  e l s e
        I  a m  g o i n g  t o  g o  h o m e  s i c k  p r o b a b l y  a r o u n d  n o o n  b e c a u s e  w e  h a v e  t o  g o  g r o c e r y  shopping and I have laundry to do still and I need to scrub my bath

guitar hero, wii olympic, goo, cookie dough, tres leches

that's what's been going on with me
after being a 40 year old for 5+ years I am going to go ahead and get a retail job hopefully this week and raise up out of 9-5. I know it is the right decision, I am rotting here. I have an interview Wednesday @ Juicy. I have never worked retail but I spruced up my resume like I was a customer service machine and this chick I know is getting me the job pretty much if I don't fuck up my interview. I am very scared though because I will have to be fake my entire shift when I'm used to just being bitchy at my desk and just having to put on an act when I answer my extension. I need some retail tips. So I will live off of my part time mall salary and be able to play wii all night. And then when I get back from Hawaii I'll get a real job okay... 
I had a really emotional stupid terrible weekend now I just have to get through this week and next week, try not to spend any money, work overtime in this hell and then the 25th I'll be happy  and then the 28th I'll be sad then I'll get through a couple more weeks then the 9th I'll be happy, then I'll be good after that

$650 / 2br - Beautiful Mountain Cabin

while

you

are

away



my heart comes undone

wearing my retainer nightlayy
tanning again, what the fuck else do I have to do
staying home and drankin burrs

Ive often thought of compiling a list of things that clueless ass mother fuckers might find useful when theyre sitting around wondering what they can do to get a girlfriend
consequently:
WOMEN LIKE MEN WHO:

- know how to fucking drive. know where the fuck they are going. dont get pissed at you when you dont know how to tell them where they are going or if they are too incompetent to understand simple directions like a fucking arrow pointing to the empire ballroom.

- dont fucking comb their hair into their face like little zig zag spikes on the side of their heads like your hair fucking grows backwards, no

- fuckin buy you perfume but don't rub it in your face like they "dropped so much money" on your $16 banana republic perfume and a fuckin movie (fucking fantastic 4 four or whatever) you didnt even want to see with their friends.

- like (LOVE) their mother and NEVER mutter the sentence "I don't even love her" WHAT the fuck? 

- never tell you the way you roll your eyes reminds you of their ex. thattheyrestillinlovewith.


ENOUGH TIME HAS PASSED FOR ME TO BE IN THE WWWWWTTTTFFF was I thinking? stage! I love it! It's so funny! hahhahaha wtf?? maroon 5?? hahahahahahahhaahahahahhahaha
This is a testimate that persuit of maturity & commitment and forgiveness are blind and red flags should not be ignored/excused. because I do love people that I actually like, too, and have things in common with, and feel comfortable saying things around without getting chewed the fuck out, and it is awakening, and I forgot love was like this

Dec 31 2007
Los Angeles, CA Walt Disney Concert Hall

Rufus will be joining Belinda Carlisle on stage to host "Deck the Hall: Paris a Go-Go - New Years Eve in Paris." Rufus will be performing songs in French and English accompanied by a Parisian band.

for Xochie's Coronas

for Shane's LA apartment


this fabric for Jamie (check out hartsfabric.com)


this black heart flapper ring for Cheena

I love pretend online shopping!

My new beige bow-buckle Ferragamos are so me and so Italiana I wear them every day and ponder how much the best boyfriend I ever had knows me and loves me.. I can't imagine why I ever left him for that low-life timebomb good-looking mental case. I've been in quite the honeymoon stage, falling asleep at his house every night and having to get up and go home at 7am before work.. I am forgetting that I have a family at home who are probably slightly upset with me right now since I haven't really hung out with any of them (except Doug) for a couple weeks now. Monica is probably so mad at me.. I need to get back to my wife and kids. But I'm just so happy in the way I always was when I had him by my side.. stuffing chevre and balsamic onions into my mouth and showering me with shoes and cookies and and keefe and peach tobacco and unmatchable entertainment.. I am spoiled this winter. I have a nude photoshoot coming up so perhaps I should lay off the indulgences I've become accustomed to. I need to stay away from Kaizen for a minute, I should take care of myself so I am rested and beautiful.. He has to get his portfolio together so he can go off and leave me to become a famous photographer. I will stay here and rot like every other Las Vegas resident who is deathly afraid of seeking new experience and change.. until my planning and preparation finally provide me a path to the coast. In the meantime, I definitely am not loathing my time here, the weekend of the 15th is going to be delicious! DGR will be here on Friday hopefully depending on whether Carl has to work or not. Bjork will be here Saturday and Xina and I will be watching her from the lap of luxury @ the Pearl VIP party box! All of the majestic theatrics are going to be incredible from our view. New Years will take us to OC/LA, naturally. I'm not sure what there is to do there this year for New Years, but I'm sure Mahrkis will lead us to the most fabulously glittery place to be. So to summarize my update, I am no longer depressed and bitter (well, not significantly or mood-controlling at least) and I am happy and fabulous and fun to the point of possible irritation or annoyance from spectators. For Christmas I told my mom all I want is a thread of gratefulness to be embedded into my character from Santa because I am a spoiled unappreciative super sweet 16 heathen. But really what I want is:

Rufus Does Judy At Carnegie Hall [2 CD] [LIVE]